Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
