well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Unless my dick prospects improve this yearโs Halloween costume will include panties with โDTFโ written on them and a push up bra
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