Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
