I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize