I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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