we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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