dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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