I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
