if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
