I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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