Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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