can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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