he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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