Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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