Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think people are normalizing furries
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
