Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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