big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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