there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
