Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
