I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
