We're like a lot better than the average bears
where am i from again
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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