you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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