I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
