Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
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Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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