I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will be naked everywhere
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My vagina just clenched in fear
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
