and she was petting her beer can
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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