my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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