Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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