Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
