Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
