Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
