I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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