Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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