walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
