I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
