Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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