The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
