I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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