The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
