Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
