Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
