dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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