NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
