Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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