With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
