Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
