so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
