I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he puts the penis in happiness.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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