Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You made out with two different species that night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
