Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
