Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
