It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
