it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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