Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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