If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
