I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
