I am puke
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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