remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
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no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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