I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
