She said her name was "party"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
