Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
